Why Date Foreign Women

If you have spent any time on the dating circuit, you know it can be a frustrating time. I know any number of acquaintances and friends, men and women, who have been looking for years and for one reason or another they have not been able to find a suitable partner.
One option that most of us midlife men haven’t seriously considered is the opportunities out there to date and marry foreign women. The idea and practice of the ‘mail-order bride’ has been around a long time and today business is booming. The internet has made these far-away possibilities available right on your computer screen. You can email them, video chat with them, and talk with them by phone. All of a sudden they aren’t so foreign anymore.
In my conversations with some of the folks in the industry, revenue has continued to grow through the 2007-2010 recession. My contact stated that the primary demographic for this type of business is comprised of midlife men, those over forty.
So, why might you consider going after a foreign wife? After reading some of the material available out there on this matter, it boils down to about a half-dozen reasons why looking overseas might result in a more satisfactory partner, particularly when compared to, say, American women. In order to not oversimplify this discussion, I will primarily focus in this article on Russian and East European women, but many of these points cross cultural/ethnic boundaries. I’ll use the term ‘Russian’ to imply several regional states to include Russia, the Ukraine, Moldova, and the like.
These points are not without their controversy, and there are probably enough exceptions to make one wonder about the ‘rule’, but let’s lay out the argument why some have argued that foreign women are better choices than western (specifically, American) women:
1. They have a higher opinion of North American and Western European men than they do of their own. In the world of perceptions, everything is relative. If you interact a short while with women from Russia and Eastern Europe, or even Latin America, the reputation of the typical male in their own cultures are often anything but flattering. As one female I was chatting with from the Ukraine put it, men here ‘want everything from you but don’t want to give anything.’ They want their women to do all the domestic tasks AND make the living, while the men lounge around idle, and throw in an extra girlfriend on the side. So, the ‘grass-is-greener’ effect works in the favor of western men.
2. They tend to be more traditional in their values and attitudes toward family and male-female roles. Foreign women tend to put family first, before anything else, even their careers. It is much more explicit and central to their definition of themselves as women. They pride themselves on their domestic skills – knitting, cooking, making a home a pleasant place – and these things seem important to them. I’m talking about educated women, with university degrees, and responsible positions in their organizations.
Following on from the first point, then, we often find that these women will take better care of you than American women will. Again, it is relative. Foreign women don’t see making their man happy by serving him as necessarily a burden. So, as an example, to tell a gal that being a good cook is not required will seem to them a somewhat confusing statement, even an insult, as they consider this an important service to the family.
3. They tend to pay close attention to their physical appearance, including maintaining physical condition. First, you will notice the attention they give to dressing fashionably, even if they are a bit on the full-figured side. One site operator explains that so important this is to Russian women, that they will spend a good deal of their modest income on clothes, cosmetics and health-related items to insure they always are their best.
It is not uncommon to see women in their 40s and 50s with youthful figures and complexions that are startling to the western eye, and that after bearing children and years of working and holding a household together. Further, they value looking attractive and sensual. They don’t shy away from being sexually appealing – sexy is a point of pride. I find it interesting in observing profile after profile on Russian sites how prevalent spike heeled shoes are. The may be dressed in skimpy swimsuit or underwear, but never without 4-inch spike heels.
4. They tend to be less materialistic and more relational in orientation. Numerous interchanges with Russian women have made clear that what they want is a relationship, and everything else is just optional. They seek a high quality relationship with their spouse. They want to be respected, supported, and cared for. As of yet, they don’t seem to have as much of a consumer-driven mindset as we do.
5. They tend to place high value on intellect and learning. Again, reading Russian women’s profiles reveals a constant – they want to demonstrate that they are intellectually curious by pointing out what they’re reading (ie. psychology or economics) and explicitly want such a person with whom to engage intellectually. They value intelligent men who are conversant on a wide range of topics.
6. They tend to value relationships with older men. This notion seems so weird to the westerner. We may actually think these arrangements are odd or perverse, even illegal. But many cultures not only accept these age differences in relationships, but value them. I’m on a site where members can invite anyone to a chat session. Most of the women doing this range from 18-25 years of age.
One day, I decided to respond to a young woman’s request to chat to see what she would say to my question, ‘Why are you trying to chat with an ‘old man’ on this site?’ Her answer was, first, you’re not that old, and second that she wanted a genuine relationship and a stable one, which she thought the older man would deliver. This is not uncommon.
This brief discussion is probably not the whole case for why you might find foreign women a better choice than ‘domestic’ women, but it does represent the bulk of reasoning out there.
The net result of all this is that you very likely can find better looking women, who are much younger than you are, and in better physical condition than western women, and better educated, who aren’t after your money, and who may be more willing to make your happiness their happiness. Wow! That generally is not happening on my U.S. dating sites.
Too good to be true? Maybe. There are genuine ‘living happily ever after’ stories and ‘horror stories’ out there. In the end, lasting relationships have to be worked at, and there are some disadvantages of such arrangements – topic for another article.
Whichever the case, the internet has made it easier to learn about these women, engage them in meaningful dialog, and eventually meet them face-to-face. It may be an option for you.
It needn’t be a foreign concept any longer.